Individual Therapy
Understanding and changing the patterns you want to get unstuck from.
Many of us work hard to push against the currents we feel inside – to override or outthink the parts of ourselves that keep showing up in ways we don't want.
Maybe you feel inhibited and struggle to be your authentic self around others.
Maybe you know you're a people-pleaser and you work hard on being assertive, but saying no is still so hard, every single time. Maybe you keep finding yourself in the same kinds of unsatisfying relationship dynamics over and over. Maybe you want to make a change, let go of a habit, try something new, but when it comes time to actually do it, something stops you. Maybe the world just feels heavier than it used to, and you're not sure why.
If any of this sounds familiar, you're in the right place. I often work with people who are insightful and self-aware, but find themselves stuck in patterns they can't think their way out of, and need an outside guide to help them get to what's really going on under the surface and how to get unstuck.
Your patterns make sense and that's actually the key to changing them.
The parts of yourself you most want to change aren't random or broken. They're intelligent. At some point – often early in life – you learned something about yourself, others, or the world, and your mind and body adapted accordingly. Those adaptations became patterns. And even when those learnings stop working or no longer fit, they tend to stick around, because somewhere underneath, to a past version of you they still feel necessary.
Rather than trying to override your patterns through willpower or insight alone, we work to understand them emotionally, from the inside. What is this pattern actually protecting? What would it mean to let it go? What does it know that you haven't fully heard yet?
Therapy generally moves through three phases, which can be repeated many times with many different problem patterns:
Find the pattern—we name the problem that keeps showing up and get curious about it rather than fighting it
Discover the emotional logic underneath—we uncover the emotional knowing that's been driving it, meet it with understanding, and integrate deeply
Create a new experience—not just a new insight, but a felt, emotional shift that gives your brain something genuinely new to work with
Take the experience of feeling inhibited around others, or not quite able to show up as yourself. On the surface it might look like shyness, or anxiety, or low confidence. But underneath there's often an emotional knowing: if I'm too much, I'll push people away. If I'm fully myself, I won't be accepted. That knowing made sense once. It might have even been true at that previous moment in your life. And until we find it and really sit with it, no amount of effort to "just be yourself" will touch it, because it’s still true, in memory.
The shift happens when you have a new experience – something felt, not just understood – that genuinely contradicts the old learning, AND you hold that new experience side-by-side with the old memory and old learning. When that happens, the brain doesn't just add new information on top of the old. It actually updates. The pattern softens. Things that felt impossible start to feel available.
And while this is individual work, much of what we explore may be relational. Many of the people I work with one-on-one are trying to understand their patterns with others – why they keep showing up a certain way in relationships, why connection feels hard, what gets in the way of real intimacy. You don't need a partner in the room for that work to be powerful.
Ready to take the next step?
In individual therapy work:
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There are a lot of explanations of what trauma is out there, here's mine:
When something truly terrible happens, our whole system struggles. Our brain has to make sense of the experience somehow. I love what researcher Lisa Feldman Barrett has said: "The body doesn't keep the score. Your brain keeps the score, and your body is the scorecard."
Part of what helps us move through trauma is how supported we are during the experience itself and in the aftermath. Do we have caring people to turn to? Does anyone see and understand what we've been through? Therapy helps the whole mind-body system experience the care it needs.
Trauma isn't only about the memory of what happened. It's also about what our brain learned as a result: about ourselves, about others, about the world. Those learnings are the brain's attempt to protect us from ever being hurt that way again.
Maybe some of these sound familiar:
"I didn't see it coming when this person hurt me, so I can't trust myself."
"The world is scary and unpredictable, so I need to always be on alert for danger."
"This memory is too big and scary – if I let myself experience it, it will completely overwhelm me."
These emotional learnings aren't character flaws or signs that something is permanently wrong. They're conclusions a very overwhelmed nervous system came to, doing the best it could. And they can be unlearned in therapy.
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Emotions get a bad reputation. We're often taught, explicitly or implicitly, that emotions are problems to be managed, suppressed, or overcome. But in my work, emotions are information. They're messengers trying to get your attention, and every single one of them makes sense. Anger might say, “something important to you is being violated – stand up for yourself.”
Sadness and longing might say: “you care deeply about something or someone — this matters to you.”
Disgust might say, “Yuck, something isn't right for you – move away or say no, thank you.”
When we learn to listen to emotions rather than fight them, they become doorways into understanding ourselves more fully.
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Most sessions begin simply: "Do you know where you want to start today?" Sometimes we'll briefly revisit what came up last time, or what's happened in between sessions.
Then we move into the focused work on the problem pattern you want to focus on.
We leave time at the end to reflect on what came up and what you're taking with you. I often use a simple “index card” exercise where you write down what you want to remember from the session. And "homework" in my practice isn't worksheets – it's usually working on some kind of noticing or tracking what comes up related to the problem pattern between sessions, so the work doesn't stay confined to the therapy room.
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A lot of individual therapy is really about understanding your relationship to things — to yourself, to others, to your emotions, to your body. How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? Where do you feel tension in your body and what’s it trying to tell you? How do you show up in close relationships, and what gets in the way of feeling truly connected?
Areas I often work on with clients include:
Relationships with romantic partners, friends, or family members; dating or getting to know new people
Relationship to yourself - how do you see yourself? How do you treat yourself, talk to yourself?
Relationship to emotions, or to a particular emotion (anger, sadness, fear, etc.)
Relationship to the body - what has your body been through? Has it received enough comfort, care? What makes your body feel good? When do you feel discomfort, pain, or tension?
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Most of the approaches I use fall under the umbrella of experiential therapy — which means we're not just talking about your experience, we're creating new experiences in the room. The idea is that insight alone rarely changes things. What actually moves the needle is having a felt, emotional experience that's different from what you've known before — and that's what we're working toward together.
In practice, that might look like:
Empathic conjecture – I might gently offer a guess about what you're feeling underneath, and we see if it lands. Sometimes having someone name something you couldn't quite reach yourself provides relief, and a natural next place to explore.
Therapeutic transparency – I share what I'm noticing in the room, in real time. If something moves me, or if I notice a shift in you, I'll say so. The relationship between us is itself part of the work.
Sentence completion – finishing an open-ended sentence out loud can unlock something you didn't know was there. It bypasses the part of your brain that's good at explaining yourself and goes somewhere more honest.
Tracking somatic sensations — we pay attention to what's happening in your body as we talk. Tightness in the chest, a lump in the throat, a sudden lightness or sense of calm – the body knows things before the mind does.
Parts work – most people associate this with Internal Family Systems (IFS), but parts work can be used anytime we need to acknowledge the complexity of human existence!
My primary theoretical frameworks are Coherence Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Emotion Awareness and Expression Therapy (EAET). I also draw on interventions from other experiential modalities depending on what you and I are working through together.
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Here's what I see in the people I work with.
A pattern that once felt automatic and immovable starts to shift. An emotional knowing that's been running the show quietly updates. Things that felt impossible start to feel available.
And then, people tell me that they start to experience the following:
My emotional world feels more clear and coherent. I have words for what I'm feeling and thinking, and my own experience makes sense to me.
I can communicate clearly with the people who matter most.
I can be myself around loved ones, and around people I've just met.
I feel flexible. I can read a situation and respond to it, rather than reacting from an old script.
I know myself. And I like, maybe even love, who I am.
I feel generally at ease in my body. I know what makes it feel good.
I can stay connected to others even when difficult emotions are present, mine or theirs.
I see my emotions as allies, not adversaries.
Individual Therapy FAQs
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Individual sessions are 55 minutes and can happen in my in-person office or over secure video. I usually open with a simple question: "Do you know where you want to start today?" Either answer, yes or no, is fine – I just want to know whether you're already holding something or whether you'd like my help finding a starting point!
If you're open to it, it's often nice to pick up where we left off: what happened between sessions, what you noticed. From there, we find the focus for the day – usually one of the 2–3 patterns or "threads" we're working on together.
Toward the end, I'll prompt us to pause and reflect together – what felt important, what we're each taking away. And most weeks, you'll leave with what I call an index card exercise: one or two things to keep in your awareness between sessions. Sometimes it's a statement to sit with, like "Even though I want to be seen as my authentic self, when I think about being myself around others, this feeling of fear surfaces that says: you'll be judged." Sometimes it's a tracking prompt – noticing when a feeling of tension or fear shows up in moments where you could be yourself. Simple, but it becomes a natural starting point the next time we meet.
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I know – it feels like a non-answer, but it genuinely depends on the person and the pattern. Complex attachment trauma, for example, often has many different facets to work through, and it simply takes time to move through each layer with care. Rushing that process tends to shortchange it.
That said, most of my shortest-term clients work with me for somewhere between 6 months and a year. That doesn't mean they aren't feeling shifts sooner; many people notice something meaningful within the first 1-3 months. But most people come in with more than one thing they want to work through, and the work tends to deepen over time.
Also, a lot of the people I work with genuinely enjoy coming to therapy. Many are committed to their own growth in an ongoing way, and after we've worked through their initial goals, they often find new edges they want to explore. So while I don't keep anyone longer than is useful, some client relationships do become longer-term – and that's something many people actively choose.
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I see clients located in Colorado and Minnesota. Important to note - when/if you travel, if you want to meet while you’re away, we’ll need to talk about whether the location you’re traveling to allows for remote therapy from an out-of-state or out-of-country provider.
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Welcome, and good for you for being here! One of my strengths with newer clients is signposting: helping you understand not just what we're doing, but why, and what to expect as we go. Therapy can sometimes feel like you’re working with the Wizard of Oz speaking from behind the curtain – mysterious, opaque, a little hard to read. I work hard to counteract that tendency. Transparency is one of my core values as a therapist, which means I'll explain what we're doing and why, offer options, ask for your consent, and stay flexible to what's working for you.
Hopefully this FAQ section gives you a feel for that – the fact that I'll write out exactly what a session looks like is pretty representative of how I show up. You won't be left guessing.
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The first thing I'll want to know is what your past therapy experiences have actually been like – what felt helpful, what you're hoping to carry forward, and what you'd like to be different this time. That matters especially if you've ever felt misunderstood, dismissed, or like the approach just wasn't quite right for you. Attachment injuries can happen in the therapy room too, and I take that seriously.
From there, I think what clients with a lot of therapy history tend to notice most about working with me is that I bring something a little different. A big part of that is experiential work – rather than only talking about what happens outside of session, we use exercises and techniques that bring things into the room: imagination, the body, emotion, real-time patterns. It's not just talking about something, it's working with the full power of what your brain and nervous system are actually doing.
People also tell me I'm warm but direct – that I'll share an observation or bring in something I'm noticing about them in a way that's gentle but doesn't dance around it. I'm attachment and emotion-focused, which means I'm genuinely interested in the full range of what you're feeling – not just the soft emotions, but anger, jealousy, the ones that are harder to sit with. Those matter too, and I won't shy away from them.
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Start with your gut. Hopefully reading through my website gives you a sense of whether you feel drawn to working with me – and if you do a consult call, you'll probably know pretty quickly whether my approach resonates in our conversation too.
Beyond that initial feeling, there's also the practical side, and that's partly my job to help us figure out. I'll want to talk through whether my expertise actually matches what you're hoping to work on – is my style and method a good fit for what you’re bringing to the table? We'll also look at logistics: can we find a time and frequency that works for both of us? And I think it's important to be honest about what I am and what I can offer – I'm a solo practice, not a larger clinic – and whether that feels right for what you need.
Sometimes, after talking, I might realize that a different therapeutic approach or style would serve you better, or that you'd benefit from a different level of care than I can offer. If that's the case, I'll tell you directly and help you find the right fit elsewhere. That's part of integrity for me.
But if it feels like we're aligned – in style, in methods, in what you're working toward – then I think you'll know.
If we agree to try out working together, I also encourage both of us to see the first few sessions that we meet as an opportunity to continue to feel out the fit, which can take down the pressure.
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For a full picture of my training, credentials, and clinical background, please see my About page and CV.
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Yes. Everything you share in our work together is confidential. I'm legally and ethically bound to protect your privacy, and I take that seriously, especially given that many of the things people bring to therapy are things they've never said out loud to anyone.
There are a small number of exceptions required by law: for example, if I have reason to believe you're at imminent risk of harming yourself or someone else, or if there is a disclosure of child or elder abuse. And, you can always ask questions if you’re nervous about sharing something because you’re concerned it won’t be kept confidential for some reason! I’m happy to clarify.
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Not at all. Some of my clients come in at a real low point, but many others come because something feels stuck, or because they want to understand themselves better, or because they're doing pretty well and want to keep growing. You don't need to earn your way into therapy by suffering enough first.
If anything, the earlier you come, before things reach a boiling point, the more room we have to work thoughtfully and at your pace.
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That's what I'm here for, to help you figure that out. You don't need to arrive with an agenda or have your thoughts organized. One of my first questions will simply be: "Do you know where you want to start today?" – and if the answer is no, we'll find it together. There's no wrong way to begin!
