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Sex Therapy

Everyone has sexual baggage. Almost nobody gets to talk about it.

Sex touches something deeply vulnerable in us – our bodies, our desires, our sense of self, our capacity to be seen. Am I wanted? Am I good enough?

Whatever you're carrying, you don't have to keep carrying it alone. This is a space where all of it is welcome.

Schedule A consult

Most people never had someone safe to talk to about sex. That matters more than you might think.

Think back: did you have someone in your life in the moments where you needed support who could help you make sense of your sexual self? Someone trustworthy, who answered questions without shame, validated what you were feeling, and helped you understand both the world outside and your inner world?

Most people didn't. And the absence of that person leaves a gap – not just in information, but in a felt sense of security when talking about sex. When we've never experienced what it's like to explore our sexual selves with someone steady and trustworthy alongside us, that becomes the work. Not just fixing a symptom, but filling a missing experience.

As an AASECT-certified sex therapist, that's the kind of presence I aim to be: someone who comes alongside you, helps you make sense of your inner erotic world, and makes it genuinely okay to be awkward, uncertain, or just figuring it out.

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"Your body doesn’t keep the score. Your brain keeps the score, and your body is the scorecard."

– Lisa Feldman Barrett

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Sex is a dance between many parts – our brains, our bodies, our relationship to others.

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Ultimately, the biggest sexual organ is the brain – it interprets what our bodies feel as sensations, tells us how to make meaning out of sex, informs our fantasies and desires, and helps us figure out how to share what we want with another person.

So much of what shows up sexually – pain, shutdown, disconnection, difficulty with arousal or desire – has roots that go deeper than the bedroom. Our systems carry what we've learned about safety, about being seen, about whether it's okay to let go and lose control. Great sex therapy works at that level, not just the surface level, not just band-aid fixes.

Which also means this: sex and pleasure aren't just the problem. For many people, they can be part of the solution – a pathway back into the body, into connection, into a sense of self that feels more whole.

What we can explore together

Sexual concerns don't always fit neatly into categories – but here's a sense of what people bring to this work.

Sexual shyness
& inhibition

Feeling cut off from your own desires, unsure how to ask for what you want, or longing to be more fully and authentically yourself sexually.

Desire &
libido differences

When partners want sex at different frequencies – or when your own desire has gone quiet and you're not sure why.

Arousal &
orgasm difficulties

Trouble getting aroused, staying present, or reaching orgasm – including the frustrating gap between what you want and what your body does.

Erectile &
ejaculation concerns

Erectile difficulties, premature or delayed ejaculation, and the anxiety that tends to compound these challenges over time.

Chronic illness, disability
& medical issues

Navigating sexuality and intimacy when your body is also managing pain, illness, disability, or the aftermath of medical treatment.

Pelvic pain &
penetration concerns

Vaginismus, vulvodynia, painful sex, and the emotional weight that accumulates when your body seems to be working against you.

Sexual trauma &
its relational impact

Past experiences of sexual harm — and how they show up in your body, your relationships, and your sense of self.

All of these concerns are addressed from a sex-positive, identity-affirming perspective. Every part of who you are – your identity, your relationship structure, your body – is welcome here.

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What this looks like in real life

Someone might come in saying they've lost interest in sex, or that they shut down every time things get intimate. As we explore together, we discover that their nervous system learned long ago that desire isn't safe – or that their sexual needs don't matter. That's the emotional root. And that's what we work with.

Or a couple might come in stuck in the same fight: one partner wants more sex, the other keeps pulling away. On the surface it looks like a desire mismatch. Underneath, one person is terrified of rejection and the other feels pressured and unseen. When we find that cycle and work at that level, everything changes.

Sometimes I’ll ask a client to complete a sentence to get at emotional roots, something like: "My body is a source of ________?" How someone finishes that sentence tells us an enormous amount. For example, if the answer is “My body is a source of shame, or pain, or anxiety,” that's an important place to explore.

What sex therapy actually looks like

A lot of people imagine something very different from what sex therapy actually is. Let's clear that up. Sex therapy isn't about performance fixes or homework checklists. It moves through three phases which be repeated as needed:

Step 1
Find the
problem pattern

Step 2
Discover the emotional roots underneath

Step 3
Create a new
experience

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Step 1 :Find the problem pattern

We name what keeps showing up – in your body, your relationship, your inner world – and get curious about it rather than fighting it. For individuals, this might be a pattern of shutdown, avoidance, or disconnection. For couples, it might be the cycle that plays out between you. Where did it come from? What is it protecting? What has it been trying to tell you? It’s OK that you don’t like it or want to change it, but we want to understand it first!

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Step 2 :Discover the emotional roots underneath

Every sexual pattern makes sense in context. We uncover the emotional knowing that's been driving it – the learning your nervous system absorbed about safety, desire, shame, and connection – and meet it with understanding rather than judgment.

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Step 3 :Create a new experience

Not just a new insight, but a transformative shift. Sometimes that looks like exploring options you didn't know you had, a reflection exercise, a worksheet to map out your sexual preferences, or a game to play with a partner. Sometimes it's simply getting accurate sex education from a safe, trusted person – for the first time. Whatever form it takes, it happens in an environment that is warm, respectful, and genuinely judgment-free.

Sessions are talk-based and professional – no physical contact, no nudity. I see clients in-person in Denver and virtually throughout Colorado and Minnesota.

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You've been waiting long enough to talk about this.

SCHEDULE A CONSULT

diagram of whole wellness from a sex-positive therapist

Furthermore, all of your concerns are addressed from a sex-positive perspective.
What does it mean to be sex-positive? Check it out on the blog.

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